突然累了

你要的不是我
心碎的失去轮廓
曾经给你的感动
只是情绪的波动
能给的不是我 

我被遗忘在
你遗忘的角落 

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...

人生，不就是一连串的选择吗？

然而决定的权利往往都不落在自己的手上。

我选择了你

选择了留你

但我没权利决定

这就是人生。

the unexpressed

How do you tell a person how u actually feel, without them fooling around trying to change the topic?

How are you gonna tell the person, that you really want him in life, and couldn't let go just like that?

How do you say "i'm sorry" for not able to go with the plan as agreed?

How do you convince someone that the decision to settle anywhere is not of their concern?

How do you make the person understand the fear and sorrow in you?

How do you tell them to remove something that annoys and hurts you long ago?

How do you tell someone it kills you for the waiting?

How do you tell someone that you tried so hard to hold back the tears every time they try to be nice to you just for the sake of you, not from the heart and it hurts badly?

How do tell the person that it's sooooo hard to keep a smile that last 24hours in a row, knowing that you're only random-access-memory of their heart?

How do you make them understand all above?

It's rather hard to express verbally most of the time, the words just don't seem to came out right from the mouth. Especially when it comes to the feelings part, you kinda have this dust ball stuck right inside your throat and you go bla bra bra.......... Things get worse when people, who you're trying to talk to, are not into what you're gonna say. Often people forgot about the roots to these matters ---- the feeling & the willingness. The feeling of care, and the willingness to care.

For now, i think i've lost both the feeling, not my feelings that is, and the willingness to care. No matter how hard i've tried, it just won't find its way back. Reality is there Just don't feel like being an ostrich anymore, the more aware i am, the further i dug i head into the ground. Fear for facing the naked truth brings more hurt than i ever expected. I'm near to suffocation thou. It seems like getting to nowhere. Obviously, i'm fooling nobody but ownself, can't even tell the black or white, the truth or opposite.

No offence, this is where i express my unexpressed.

by Bitter Stickgirl

Reminder: Keep hanging on!!

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the dilemma

This thing, no idea what people called it, happens in every stages in our life.

You see,

when we were young, we wanted so badly to grow up quickly, so that we can reach the toilet light switch easily without having to climb up a stool.

when we're finally a teenage, we would think about those days when we were kids and need not to have so much so-called dilemma.

when we are finally in college, facing with endless test and assignments marathon, we wish to end it as soon as possible and enter into the corporate world.

and last but not least, when we're finally graduating from uni, on the way to be financially independent, we wish the time would somehow turn back itself and that we won't have to say goodbye.

Well, i have to say this is life. We enter into a new stage and we move on. What's left are memories, and memories are somehow bitter-sweet at times. Nevertheless, it's time to move on and proceed to the financial-independent-stage. BUT, here's the dilemma. Where should i settle my ass at? And the most interesting part, i don't really know how to get started. I seriously need someone's advices. No directions, no aims, no determination. That's why i'm unable to settle my mind yet. *Giggless~ Let's just forget how ignorant i can be. Think i'll just sit back and THINK hard, real hard.

Everyday is THINKING day i supposed??

errmm... any suggestions? any directions?

Feather in The Wind

I'm a feather in the wind
I'm up and then I'm down again
and though the places i have been
to heavens gate and 'round the bend

Things are never what
They appear to be
'Cause everybody's trying to grab a hold of me
So catch me if you can
Set me free again
Like a feather in the wind

I'm a reflection in the glass
'Cause i cant keep from looking back
And though the pages that i lack
Are stuck inside a broken past

Things are never what
They appear to be
So i'll dig a little deeper
Than what the eye can see
And if anybody asks
Making friends at last
With my reflection in the glass

I'm softer than a bride in white
But i'm tough enough to fight my own fight
Sometimes higher than a quivering kite
More lowly than a beggars plight

Like a fire in the night
I'm burnin up with all my might
Don't wanna flicker out of sight
Fade into the morning light

Things are never what
They appear to be
Cause only time will tell when
I'm ashes at your feet
So when i'm burnin bright
Let me be your light
Like a fire in the night

Things are never what
They appear to be
So many different pieces
Make up the whole of me
So hold me in your hands
Take me as i am
'Cause i'm a feather
I'm a reflection
I'm a fire in your direction
I'm unruly
I'm undone
So just love me as i come

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

And yea, we go up & down in life

As things were never the way we wanted it to be.

Just follow the flow, and hope that one day

the universe may reward you.

last of the last

I hereby declare myself a 'considered' graduate and officially unemployed!

Just kick the last paper's ass this morning, and that's it, my student life is officially over. Anyhow, there's mix feelings, i bet everyone does. You know, those "I hate-but-I love-this place" kinda feelings. Plus the dilemma of whether to further pursue or where to settle down.

Well, that's not the things in my mind right now. I just wanna enjoy my very last few moments to the max!

Next thing on lists, is just relax, enjoy the remaining days and looking forward to our graduation trip to Langkawi~~ *wooooooot!

Is this what you're feeling right now peeps? =D

Happy 2-years-Degree My Dear Friends

& Happy Unemployed!!!! ♥

sweating & swearing

The weather has gone nuts! It has been 4days of full 100% sunshine, without a single shade of cloud. Was wondering is it now 40 degree Celsius? This is rather annoying as there are people here who's having their finals and full concentration is needed. duhhh~

Really, everyone had been complaining 'bout the scorching heat and the irritation of sweating. It's HOT, HOT, HOT n HOT, all over Facebook.

C'mon~ spill some over here will ya??

I would rather have the place flooded than being roasted alive~

there should be 40 degree Celcius by now. *sweating & swearing*

now this is wad u gonna turn into when u're outdoor.

being roasted alive!

bet no one ever wanna come out of shower as it's the coolest place right now.

but, the water had been heated up as well. *smackforehead*

the worse part ever: you'll still gonna sweat out of your life even you're sitting real still without excessive movement. *swearing2

well, all we ever wanted is just...

some downpour!