How do you tell a person how u actually feel, without them fooling around trying to change the topic?
How are you gonna tell the person, that you really want him in life, and couldn't let go just like that?
How do you say "i'm sorry" for not able to go with the plan as agreed?
How do you convince someone that the decision to settle anywhere is not of their concern?
How do you make the person understand the fear and sorrow in you?
How do you tell them to remove something that annoys and hurts you long ago?
How do you tell someone it kills you for the waiting?
How do you tell someone that you tried so hard to hold back the tears every time they try to be nice to you just for the sake of you, not from the heart and it hurts badly?
How do tell the person that it's sooooo hard to keep a smile that last 24hours in a row, knowing that you're only random-access-memory of their heart?
How do you make them understand all above?
It's rather hard to express verbally most of the time, the words just don't seem to came out right from the mouth. Especially when it comes to the feelings part, you kinda have this dust ball stuck right inside your throat and you go bla bra bra.......... Things get worse when people, who you're trying to talk to, are not into what you're gonna say. Often people forgot about the roots to these matters ---- the feeling & the willingness. The feeling of care, and the willingness to care.
For now, i think i've lost both the feeling, not my feelings that is, and the willingness to care. No matter how hard i've tried, it just won't find its way back. Reality is there Just don't feel like being an ostrich anymore, the more aware i am, the further i dug i head into the ground. Fear for facing the naked truth brings more hurt than i ever expected. I'm near to suffocation thou. It seems like getting to nowhere. Obviously, i'm fooling nobody but ownself, can't even tell the black or white, the truth or opposite.
No offence, this is where i express my unexpressed.
Reminder: Keep hanging on!!
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